Life Reimagined: Finding Joy in Being a Mom

Becoming a mother is an inexplicable adventure. It reshapes your heart and life in ways you never could have imagined. 

Motherhood also unlocks a range of emotions, and nothing can prepare you for it.   The joy of holding your child for the first time is one of the greatest joys we will ever know! 

Unfortunately, the stress of parenting and navigating life in this new role can dampen the joy of that first embrace.

My Journey to Finding Joy in Being a Mom

After the birth of our third child, my husband and I had a sense our family was complete.  She would be the sweet ending to this tender season of life with newborns.  This reality really changed the way I viewed being a mom. 

As I experienced so many of my daughter’s firsts, I knew they were also my “lasts.” My last time leaving the hospital with a baby, my last “up all night”  with a newborn, or my last time hearing a child’s first word. 

With my older two children, I spent so much time reading parenting books and worrying about parenting them the “right” way.  I was easily caught up in the many day-to-day decisions that parents have to make. The list can feel unending: feeding decisions, sleep habits, child care, or medical care—all of these before they even turned one!  The overwhelm caused by hours of research and worry frequently took the joy out of being a mom. 

I did not want this to be the story for myself or my family with our last child! I wanted to slow down and rediscover the joy of being a mom.  I was finally in a place to enjoy the gift of being a mom! 

Slowly, I started finding ways to experience and embrace the joy of being a mom.

How You Can Find Joy in Being a Mom

No matter your current season of motherhood, I hope these tips will help you find joy in motherhood, too! 

1. Embrace confidence in your own parenting style! 

Comparison truly is the thief of joy when it comes to parenting. In our present time, there really is too much information available to parents! It doesn’t take long for decision paralysis to kick in when confronted with the entire internet and bookstores full of parenting information. Especially early in your parenting journey, find joy by choosing you! Choose the parenting style that aligns with your values and lifestyle. There will be ups and downs in any parenting journey.  Trusting your gut and leaning into your intuition are great ways to relax and keep the joy in parenting. 

2. Find joy by changing expectations 

I found a lot more joy in the day-to-day when I changed my expectations for what my life as a mom would look like. Before kids, my husband and I were used to a tidy home, a well-executed schedule, and an active social life. This changed dramatically after having kids! I’m not saying your house will always be a mess, you will never get out of leggings, and to say goodbye to all your friends But I will say that with kids, it is really hard to have a clean house, be dressed up, and maintain an active professional and social life all at the same time.  Take time to prioritize what is truly important to you. Let go of the lesser priorities. I have a feeling they will quickly be replaced by the joys of life as a mom!

3. Enjoy the “just being with!” 

There is no relationship with less pressure to talk, perform, or entertain than between a mother and child. Babies and young children just want to see your face and know you are close. Even with my older kids, they frequently just wander into a room where I am. I may be cooking, folding laundry, or working on my computer. Sometimes, we chat, but many times, they simply bring a book in to read or lounge around. There is something powerful about being in the presence of a loving parent. 

4. Realizing that children do not need a lot of “kid activities” 

If you, as the mom, want to walk for exercise, knock out some errands, or meet a friend for coffee, you should! I found much more joy in being a mom when I started doing things I needed or wanted to do with my kids along for the ride. You will also be passively impressing the importance of exercise, friendships, and being a responsible adult. 

5. Find your Village 

Finding a community of parents through our neighborhood, school, church,  or youth sports has brought so much joy in my journey as a mom. These parents who chase toddlers, put on shin guards, and stand for hours at playgrounds beside you can quickly become a huge source of support and joy!  The shared experience of sleepless nights and toddler tantrums bonds parents in the same stage in a special way. There are no “back when I was raising my kids” comments with a contemporary mom village. They are in the trenches of parenting with you! No matter if it is laughter over preschooler antics or tears over the first day of kindergarten, sharing the parenting journey with a village of moms is one of my greatest joys!

6. Acknowledge the ways you are growing too 

There is no greater catalyst for personal growth than parenting.  Parenting brings out the best in us. It can also bring out some of our flaws,  weaknesses, and insecurities. While there can be difficult seasons, you should take joy in the ways you grow as a person! 

7. Find the lessons in every opportunity

Each day presents new opportunities to learn about ourselves, about life, and about the little ones we are raising. The newness of each day that children remind us of is so refreshing. Even if yesterday ended in a messy kitchen or a skinned knee, kids wake up the next day ready to start over. If yesterday was a tough parenting day, gift yourself the gift of a fresh start today!

8. Catch the joy in a child’s perspective

Children see the world with wonder and clarity. The beauty of tiny flowers, the joy of splashing in a puddle, or the splendor of a twinkling holiday light. Their enthusiasm for life is refreshing and joyous to watch! 

9. Realize that caring for yourself is caring for them

The analogy to “put on your own oxygen mask first,” as flight attendants instruct passengers to do if there is an emergency in a plane, is one that carries over to parenting. There are certainly a lot of sacrifices that come along with parenting. To be a present, supportive parent means taking time to “put on your own oxygen mask.”  Invest time and energy in self-care for your physical and mental health. Invest in your own relationships, be it with your spouse or friends. Having healthy and happy parents will be the foundation of a family unit that can experience joy. 

10. Experience the joy of the family you are creating

One of the biggest joys of being a mom is knowing that you have a blank slate for creating the family and family culture that you want. You can choose your parenting style and the values that matter to your family.  If your family of origin was the kind of home environment you want to replicate, you can do that! If there were unhealthy relationships or ways of interacting you can rewrite the book on the experience of home and family. 

11. Enjoy the fulfillment of the role of mom! 

For many, being a mom is a lifelong dream. The road to motherhood comes quickly and easily for some, and is a long journey for others. No matter how you arrived at being a mother, this role is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to impact the life of another in the most significant way! 

12. Sharing your childhood favorites with them

Being a mom is a great time to remember the joys of your childhood and share those with your kids. It does not need to be anything fancy. Connecting with your kids over a favorite recipe, movie, or book will bring you both joy!

13. Rediscover the joy of simple pleasures 

Kids love inexpensive, low- or no-prep experiences like going for a family walk or eating dinner outside on the porch or steps. These are usually things that we know are good for our kids (being off screens and enjoying nature) and are usually good for us, too! 

14. Celebrate your body in a new way

Many women feel a lot of pressure around their physical appearance. There can be a lot of cultural judgment about how tall we are, the number on the scale, or a person’s body type. Being a mom is not for the faint of heart, emotionally or physically. It is incredibly taxing to bear children, breastfeed, and attend to all the physical needs of young children.  The ability to grow,  sustain, and care for a new life is nothing short of miraculous!  If you are tempted to feel discouraged about a clothing size or body shape change, try to have gratitude that your body was able to grow, sustain, and care for your children. 

15. Find joy in different seasons of being a mom

There will be seasons of parenting that will come naturally to you and others that feel more difficult. If you are introverted and like to be at home, the baby and toddler phase of nursing and napping may be a season in which you thrive. If you are extroverted and have many interests and hobbies, you may love the tween years when exploration and travel with your kids is the name of the game. The good news is that if you are currently in a difficult parenting season,  kids grow quickly and things will probably be very different in 6 months.  Sleep habits and patterns, phases of development, and their personalities and temperaments evolve and make each season of being a mom a joy of its own. 

Enjoy the Journey as a Mom

Being a mom is a journey filled with ups and downs, but within the chaos, there is abundant joy waiting to be discovered. Cherishing the small, everyday moments—the laughter, the hugs, and the bedtime stories—becomes the true essence of being a mom. 

I hope you find all the joy and love imaginable during your beautiful, crazy journey through motherhood.

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How do you find joy in being a mom? Has your perception of what it means to be a mother changed over the years? Share your thoughts in the comments below!