4 ways being a girl mom changed my life for the better

Anyone taking that scary plunge into parenthood for the first time will inevitably have some preconceived notions about their future children and family life. Dreams of baby snuggles and onesies, trips to the playground and zoo—these thoughts make the anticipation of a new baby so much more exciting. But, an aspect of parenting I had never considered prior to the inconceivable “It’s a Girl!” ultrasound scenario one fateful Thursday morning? Being a girl mom.

Whoever said, “Sugar and spice, and everything nice; that’s what little girls are made of,” obviously hadn’t met me as a child or (even worse) a teen. Nope, my parents will humorously relay stories of my independent, assertive nature and extremely loud vocal tendencies from the moment my feisty personality started to show. So when I reached my twenties and reflected on how challenging a child I was throughout my first two decades, I decided that if I ever chose to have children, I wanted all boys. 

As if I had a choice in the matter.

Today, I am proud to stand here, a mother to four daughters, to explain how being a girl mom has changed my life for the better.

Is being a girl mom hard?

I will not sugarcoat it—being a girl mom is HARD. The emotions, the drama, the frequent high-pitched squealing—it can all be exhausting.

But then again, I don’t envy my boy mom friends taking their son to the ER for the second soccer-related injury this year. 

The truth is, parenting is hard no matter what. Every child—regardless of gender, age, hobbies, or quirks—is unique and requires a different parenting style. Our role as the parent is to do our best to understand and support them at every stage.

So yes, I definitely think being a girl mom is hard, but I think the better statement (that mothers everywhere will agree with) is “Being a mom is hard.” 

(Or, as I like to say, “Mommin’ ain’t easy.”)

What a mom means to a daughter

Being a girl mom myself, I’ve seen firsthand how vital that maternal presence can be in shaping a daughter’s life. Whether it’s bonding over shared interests or navigating through disagreements with grace (or, sometimes, tears and yelling), the relationship between a mom and her daughter is one of the most influential that either will experience in their lives. 

Role model

“Like mother, like daughter” isn’t just an amusing sentiment; it is a scientific fact that daughters not only genetically inherit cognitive traits but also learn vital life skills from their mothers. Moms are the ultimate role models for their young daughters—teaching them daily habits, social skills, and values. 

From how you like your eggs cooked to how you do laundry to how you handle conflict with your spouse, chances are you picked up many daily life skills from dear old Mom.

Friend and confidante

That special female connection between mothers and daughters is a precious one that many women idolize from the moment they learn they are having a girl. 

A mother is often a daughter’s first friend, teaching her about love, resilience, and the beauty of shared secrets. As daughters grow into adulthood, this relationship evolves into a profound friendship, making them confidantes, allies, and pillars of support for each other.

However, it’s important to keep in mind how this relationship significantly impacts a girl’s self-esteem throughout her life. While it’s natural to want to be BFF with your little mini-me, make sure you always maintain your role as the parent. Fostering healthy boundaries while maintaining your connection is critical to setting your daughter up for a life-time of self-worth success.

Advisor

In addition to being a natural role model as a mother, you also become the go-to “womaning” expert in your daughter’s life. 

The complex landscape a young girl faces is one that even the most compassionate male will never fully comprehend. From social battles with friends to buying your first bra to claiming your independence as a young woman, there’s something invaluable in having a trusted female advisor in your mother by your side. 

Ways being a girl mom changed my life for the better

The number of ways that being a mother to all girls has changed me is endless. Here are just a few of the significant ways my life has changed for the better since taking on the most important role of mother.

1. Shattered stereotypes

Growing up as a female, you are exposed to so many unrealistic expectations and conflicting rules of what it means to be a girl. These gender stereotypes are unintentionally passed down from our families, the media, and the influence of our peers.

Growing up as a young woman, I remember feeling conflicted every time I encountered another stereotypical conundrum in my personal life. Being loud and outspoken, I often felt guilty when asserting my opinion as if it were invalid. Did enjoying cute clothes and beauty products make me vain? Girls are social and travel in packs, so why did I always feel like an outsider in large groups?

Looking back now, I see how detrimental gender stereotypes and assumptions can be to a young girl’s mental health—which is why I encourage each of my daughters to embrace their individuality. Our house is an array of Babysitter’s Club books, Minecraft, lacy handsewn dresses, and cargo pants; it’s the perfect compilation, embodying the beauty and uniqueness of each of my four wonderful daughters.

2. Getting in touch with emotions

Sometimes, the emotions in our estrogen-filled home are a lot to handle. While one girl may burst into tears at the drop of a pin, another will shut down in silence at the first hint of adversity. 

No matter each girl’s emotional tendencies, what’s important to me as a girl mom is guiding my daughters to identify and explore the root cause of any feeling. And there’s no better person to set this example than me.

I make it a point to talk through my own feelings with my daughters and my husband, explaining my triggers and why I react the way I do in certain situations. And in turn, when one of the girls has an emotional episode, I talk them through it by asking insightful questions to encourage self-reflection.

While we’re all still emotional works in progress, I’ve seen the positive influence that the transparency and thought-provoking conversations have had on each individual girl and our family as a whole.

3. Taught me patience

Blame it on our “Instant Gratitude” culture or my high expectations; waiting patiently is not one of my favorite things. But becoming a girl mom has compelled me to put my speedy tendencies in the backseat and embrace patience.

Girls tend to do things in their own time. Whether potty training, apologizing after a fight, or getting ready to leave the house—it’s hard to rush a girl on her own schedule. (You can ask your spouse about this female trait, as they’ve undoubtedly had to wait on you more than once as you prepare for date night.)

So, while there are times when we’ve got to stay on a schedule (the bus does leave at 7:33 each morning!), I’ve learned to relax and give my daughters the space to process things as they need to. We usually get there in due time, and it saves everyone a whole lot of stress.

4. Forced me to challenge the status quo

I am a classic #8 (The Challenger) on the Enneagram, so I’ve never shied away from a fight. But where my priorities lie and the battles I’m willing to pick have changed significantly since becoming a girl mom.

Looking around at my friends and fellow women everywhere, it is clear how much undue pressure has been placed on females by society. We are told we can (and should want to) have it all: the healthy family, the happy marriage, the big house, the successful career, and plenty of time to fill our own cups. Yet, we are not taught how to balance all these privileges with the obligations that come with them, nor have we been given the support to make this dream life a reality.

I don’t want my daughters to grow up trying to “fit the mold” and be everything to everyone. I want them to experience the freedom of exploring their own passions and preferences to create a life that is authentic to them. And while we, as a society, are starting to see small glimpses of light at the end of this Girl Power tunnel, I know there’s no better person to teach them how to take control of their life than their mother.

I choose to challenge the status quo as a modern woman not only to create the life that I deserve but, more importantly, to show my daughters that they are in the driver’s seat of their lives, too.

Growing with my daughters

Over a decade into motherhood, I am now happy to report that my daughters are the best things to ever come into my life.

The first blessings were my two biological daughters, who share my spirited nature (and high volume levels). They are strong-willed and fierce, always keeping us entertained and on our toes, and I wouldn’t want them any other way. 

Later in life, when I met my now-husband and discovered he had two daughters of his own, we liked to joke that only a crazy couple would willingly sign up for four daughters. But crazy or not, we fell in love and created this beautiful estrogen-fueled family. My two bonus daughters are the ying to my biological daughters’ yang—gentle, soft-spoken, and kind—creating a perfectly balanced family dynamic.

The gift of being a girl mom

Being a girl mom isn’t just about raising daughters—it’s about growing alongside them and becoming the best version of yourself in the process. It forces you to think about your role as a woman and your responsibility to other women from a fresh, new perspective. Girls will challenge and soften you at the same time—making you more empathetic, patient, and a stronger woman in your own right. 

Watching your daughters one day grow into confident, compassionate individuals who are unapologetically themselves is a gift beyond compare. As their mother, your role in shaping the next generation of strong, empowered women is truly invaluable, and your dedication to raising daughters who will change the world is nothing short of extraordinary.

Being a girl mom is not for the faint of heart—but is 100% worth it. 

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How has being a girl mom changed you in surprising ways? Is mothering daughters easier or harder than you imagined? Share your momming experiences in the comments below!